27 April, 2006

meth-head

as some of you know, citypages, the twin cities sister of the famous village voice, just came out with their "best of" issue. the most recent topic of issue in the twin cities, of course, is the award for best cheap thrill which they humorously gave to "crystal meth."

anger has erupted... contention has been issued... and right-wingers have, expectedly, turned-off their "think for yourself" switch.

one notorious right-winger on my team saw me walk in with the controversial issue after lunch today... his response?

"i wouldn't pick up that issue of citypages for the LIFE of me!"

now folks, let me draw your attention to an issue in our country as of late.

the start tribune published an article this morning about how horrible this situation was and we're seeing how many people, like my coworker, have decided to let the "liberal media" dictate how they react to life.

you see... right-winger coworker has decided in his head that he's going to agree with the startribune and their take on the situation and won't even, for a SPLIT second, decide to go to the source, read it himself first hand, and make his own decision as to how he feels about the situation.

bad right-winger... *hand slap*

do I agree with citypage's award for "best cheap thrill?" well, as citypages has crossed the line many times (i think it's in their mission statement actually) i DO think this one may have gone just a hair too far... not far enough to warrant city unrest.

but i went to the source... i read it myself... i put other people's personal bias aside... and I. Made. My. Own. Decision.

can you say that for yourself?

25 April, 2006

corporate expectations

i'm moving on friday. i'm not buying a place, i'm just moving to a new apartment. i insert "just" because i found out recently that my move is not a valid move in the minds of many of my corporate american co-workers.

you see... as a 27 year old male in corporate america, it is standard that i invest my money into a house rather than "throw it away" by renting. i have noticed this when talking to random co-workers about my move, their first question is "where did you buy?" it's implied that the only logical move for me at this place in my life is to buy. i guess it's also standard that i get married soon (to a girl of course), be on my way to having a baby, and live in suburbia where i worship big-box stores and inflated egos.

i shouldn't be surprised, nor bothered, by this. but it does because a guy who sits near me is in the process of buying his second house and moving this weekend (the same weekend as myself). his plans trump mine because he has "more stuff" or "is buying a house" or "needs more time because he has to close."

i guess all i can do is roll my eyes at these suburbian prisoners - thinking they are unique and have a wonderful life when all they're really doing is the same thing that their neighbors, friends, and family are.

they're rarely unique and their lives are seldom more wonderful than anyone else on their street... and to be honest, i guess that makes me a little sad for them.

fish salad

ok... i know that caesar salad is supposed to have anchovy paste in it, but GOD... my cafeteria must have put a cubic-ass-load in theirs today... it literally tastes like they spread fish all over every single piece of lettuce.

disgusting.

if i wanted to eat fish i'd get the fish. UGH! a perfectly good lite lunch gone to the fishes.

20 April, 2006

a blessing on me bum

this morning, as with most mornings, i went through my post-poo ritual around 3/4 of the way thru my morning coffee:

  1. turn on the water,
  2. put soap on my hands,
  3. wash,
  4. rinse,
  5. dry with two paper towels,
  6. check for long nose hairs,
  7. fix the main hair,
  8. check the shirt tucking,
  9. do a quick check of the ass for 1)appropriate tucking and 2)sheer prettiness

GASP!
THERE'S ASH ON ME ASS!

yup folks... it's like ash thursday for my ass... a small spot of perfectly formed ash-ish ass blessing. i'm guessing it's from trashing-it-out on the front porch after work w/ my friends at home and probably leaning up against a cig-ashing-spot on the wall.

either its that or i've been touched by an ass-ashing angel who has dubbed me the ash-queen for the day - spreading my ashy-ass-goodness around the world for all to see and be blessed by.

if you see me today, check out the spot - the only thing that could make this situation better is if the ashes formed the image of the virign mary or poopie-head benedict.

19 April, 2006

happy happy

um, yeah... the boots are pretty much the best thing ever.

happiness is overflowing - i officially have a new favorite pair of shoes/boots. i want to wear them to bed i love them so much.

OOOH!!!! and if gay marriage ever gets passed in this country the inevitable will occur and it will fuck up our nation as we'll be FORCED to allow people to marry inanimate objects... which would allow me to MARRY MY BOOTS!!!

*head shake*

silly righties - they don't understand the concept of "marriage is between two consenting adults."

18 April, 2006

achille's [DAMMIT] heel

last night i went "wench costume shopping" with c&s at the super-fab ragstock warehouse in minneapolis' warehouse district. while there i found a great brown hoodie to replace the falling-apart one that EVERYone seems to have (thank you marshall fields). the other thing i found was pair of KILLER cowboy boots.

now... as many of you know, i have a non-sexual shoe fetish - with one exception - cowboy boots. although i've never owned a pair, i find cowboy boots one of the most erotically-charged pieces of "clothing" a person can wear.

as i proudly (and SO sexilly) donned my boots this morning i relized that for the first time in my life i'd be wearing a shoe with a legit heel. and here comes the bitching part... my FREAKIN' calfs are burning like HELL!

but holy moses, these boots are the super-bomb... it's worth the pain to look so damn good.

16 April, 2006

where to worship on easter sunday

last night i was the assistant minister at my church's glorious easter vigil. in the timely light of my recent days of spiritual reassessment i was reminded, once again, why i choose to attend my church - because it brings me closer to the heavens than any other church has done. this, is a most wonderful thing.

but i woke up this morning at 9am and wondered whether or not i needed/wanted to attend church this morning. to aid in the decision making process i made a fresh pot of coffee, grabbed my keys, and headed to the front porch.

as i sat there couldn't help but be caught up in the glorious surroundings i was in the midst of. this morning is cooler than others as of late, there's a cool soft breeze blowing through the trees, 1/2 the cars on the street are gone (no doubt to church goers worldwide who feel today is holier than other sundays), and i couldn't help but notice that THIS was my second sanctuary.

in this sanctuary i brought a piece of bread and was able to feed several squirrels who nest in a pine tree on the corner of the lawn. in this sanctuary i sat in excitement as i watched the family of cardinals that i've loved for years return to their home in the tree in front of my place. i could pick-out six or seven distinct songs of the birds in this sanctuary. and in a way i cannot do anywhere else in a place of worship, i could feel the wind sweep by my face, then see it pick up a lone leaf, spin it in a spiral up into the air, and gently set it back down five feet away from where its journey began.

i don't need to go to church this morning. last night i got a taste of glory divine in a brick building bursting with light, sound, and heaven-bound incense... but this morning i was able to get an equally astounding taste of glory divine by sitting in the midst of creation and being one with it.

i'm truly blessed.

14 April, 2006

whoa

as many of you know, i consider myself a "christian spiritualist." the "spiritualist" part comes from my belief that biblical christianity is not the ONLY way to the divine spiritual being (aka, the universe). and "christian" from the fact that i was raised christian and choose to carry out part of my spiritual lifestyle in the liturgical worship of a christian church.

it's holy week, and today, specifically, is the second day of the triduum, "the three days."

i went to service last night and meditated and prayed before it. i do this before most every servie and like so many services before, i asked god (the universe) to bless me through the service, to comfort me, and to open my eyes and teach me something.

people... be careful what you ask the universe for - it may just give it to you.

at the beginning of the service was an absolution [forgiveness] of sins. as i was kneeling i racked my brain for things i had done that i wanted forgivenss for. in the past i'd have asked for forgiveness for things like "lusting after men," "masturbating," or "having sex with a man." but i no longer live my life in the shackles of a deeply flawed fundamentalism-based christianity - this leaves me with loads of other sins to confess. = )

as is normal lately, i found my mind wandering away from forgiveness and the service and started thinking about my move, job, school *blah, blah, blah* and i started stressing out. it was in that moment that i realized my biggest sin as of late.

tom's sin: not trusting the universe.

my ENTIRE life has been an exercise in learning to trust the universe and the universe in turn providing me with love and strength through the journey. case(s) in point:

  • being outed at bible college and being asked to leave.
  • moving to a brand new city and job.
  • leaving a 2 1/2 year relationship.
  • leaving an abusive relationship.


the list could go on an on but you get the point. here i was, looking for sins and getting distracted on how i can't keep control of my life's stresses right now. the answer was right in front of my face.

I CAN'T CONTROL MY LIFE'S STRESSES ON MY OWN!!!

i felt just terrible. here i was, basking in the glory of the universe but not even trusting it with my biggest fears. i was embarassed to say the least.

i spent the next few minutes apologizing and reconciling with my creator... and then i resolved that from that moment on i was going to trust in something greater than myself... i was going to put my trust in the universe rather than myself.

changes were made... a life was changed... and blessings, believe it or not, have already been received.

whether or not you're christian and celebrating easter this weekend... i hope that you'll find time to settle down with the universe or your inner power and make peace with it. life sure is shitty when things are out of balance.

13 April, 2006

4/29/06

my move date has been set - the truck has been rented - the utility elevator has been reserved - the a-list friends are being contacted - and the money is slowly creeping away.

and i'm nowhere closer to renting-out my current place.

i've come to the conclusion and have accepted the fact that i will be paying double-rent in may. the one saving grace that i'm banking on is that i am continuing to give positive energy to the universe, i'm hoping that it decides to return that energy in the future - of course if it decides it's not the right time i will gladly accept and continue to give, that's my nature.

my grad school app is slated to be evaluated tomorrow - i patiently await the news of my future grad school endeavors.

my emotions are nothing short of chocolate-factory-status. i'm sure easter weekend will trip that trigger several times. let the floodgates open wide.

i guess there's nothing left to talk about. except that i'm also awaiting to find out my raise from my recent promotion. that news will be delivered late in may.

blessings on you and your lifestock.

10 April, 2006

yeah... whatever

amos asked me yesterday if i had talked to "cute guy" lately. the answer is no. one of the reasons is because i've started taking an earlier bus to work. the main reason, though, is sad.

let me back up though...

about a month ago cute-bus-guy and i started greeting each other when we saw each other. we'd be waiting to cross the street and we'd say "hey" or "morning" or "have a good day" and then give the i'm-intrepreting-this-as-an-i-like-you grin to each other.

then two weeks ago i said "have a good day" and he replied back with "yeah, have a good day, man."

"MAN?"

who the HELL says MAN!?!?!?!

*eye roll*

no potential future boyfriend of mine is EVER going to call me "man."

cute-bus-guy... if you're reading this right now - please don't call me "man." instead, call me "sweetheart" or "hottie" or "hun"... just not "man."

oh... and kiss me next time too.

yeah... whatever

amos asked me yesterday if i had talked to "cute guy" lately. the answer is no. one of the reasons is because i've started taking an earlier bus to work. the main reason, though, is sad.

let me back up though...

about a month ago cute-bus-guy and i started greeting each other when we saw each other. we'd be waiting to cross the street and we'd say "hey" or "morning" or "have a good day" and then give the i'm-intrepreting-this-as-an-i-like-you grin to each other.

then two weeks ago i said "have a good day" and he replied back with "yeah, have a good day, man."

"MAN?"

who the HELL says MAN!?!?!?!

*eye roll*

no potential future boyfriend of mine is EVER going to call me "man."

cute-bus-guy... if you're reading this right now - please don't call me "man." instead, call me "sweetheart" or "hottie" or "hun"... just not "man."

oh... and kiss me next time too.

yeah... whatever

amos asked me yesterday if i had talked to "cute guy" lately. the answer is no. one of the reasons is because i've started taking an earlier bus to work. the main reason, though, is sad.

let me back up though...

about a month ago cute-bus-guy and i started greeting each other when we saw each other. we'd be waiting to cross the street and we'd say "hey" or "morning" or "have a good day" and then give the i'm-intrepreting-this-as-an-i-like-you grin to each other.

then two weeks ago i said "have a good day" and he replied back with "yeah, have a good day, man."

"MAN?"

who the HELL says MAN!?!?!?!

*eye roll*

no potential future boyfriend of mine is EVER going to call me "man."

cute-bus-guy... if you're reading this right now - please don't call me "man." instead, call me "sweetheart" or "hottie" or "hun"... just not "man."

oh... and kiss me next time too.

06 April, 2006

storm perfection

got home tonight and did my usual: made dinner and settled down on the couch to watch the simpsons.

but i'm in the middle of a PERFECT minnesota spring thunderstorm; the lightning and thunder are almost continuous, the air is fresh, the temp is mid 50's, and it's just... well... perfect. watching simpsons felt like blasphemy against nature.

i turned off the tv, turned on some music quietly in the background, and now i'm just sitting here enjoying nature at her finest.

hope you all get a similar "perfect moment" like this this week.

blessings.

ooh! word game!

see if you can get this one:

what english phrase can be represented by the name "Abe Itch Jr."?

01 April, 2006

and the box awards to go to...

as i woke up this morning around 8am i decided today was a packing day. i have no idea when in april i'm moving, but i DO know that it can be as soon as next weekend - better be early than late so i'm starting the packing today.

after doing some errands i decided to stop by a few stores and beg for boxes (you'll NEVER hear me say that again). here are the top three:


  • third place: borders - these wonderful people went back to the storage room and got me three flattened boxes. i can't complain, it was very generous of them.

  • second place: target - the wonderfully helpful manager on duty called back to the back room and found out their boxes were already gone for the day. but then she hit the customer service desk and took four boxes from them. when the guy complained she said "well, you didn't invite me to your wedding, so that's what you get." lol she walked back to me and said "well... he didn't... that's his problem."

  • first place: petsmart - the cute guy behind the counter called over another equally cute guy and they both started talking to me about boxes (the story of my life... always 1/2 fulfilled). the first cute guy told me to go to the "cardboard" dumpster behind the store and take what i want. i got back there and couldn't believe all the boxes. *sigh* i love cute guys.