life changes

well, it's official folks... i'm no longer in love with ty pennington. i realized he's got way too much attitude for me. i need a guy who's not afraid of his hair getting messed up. a guy who likes flannels and dirty jeans (not just on camera). a guy who truly seems normal and is FREAKIN' HOT!

yes my friends, my new love is none other than jason lee.

*sigh*

this love has been growing for a few years now, it's just after watching "my name is earl" tonight i realized i'm truly in love.

sorry girls, jason's off the market.

feel bad for me

i came into work at 7am today.

i had a 15 minute lunch.

i'm leaving work at 5:30pm today.

that's a little over a 10-hour day.

somebody please feel bad for me.

macbook pro

i'm in love (and not with cute bus guy).

i'm in love with my friend staci's macbook pro. really, this is quite possibly the coolest thing on the planet.

that is, not as cool as the fact that i actually said "hi" and "have a good day" to him at the corner. he smiled at me and said "you have a good one" *giggle*

*this blog was brought to you by three beers and a shot*

happy st pattie's day!!!1

guess who's back???

CUTE BUS GUY!!!!

i didn't notice him when i got on the bus because he was all bundled-up (we're in the process of getting another seven inches of snow) but as i was getting ready to cross the street i saw him and he saw me. we had a moment actually = ) we caught eyes and exchanged big smiles and said hi. they were the sheepish, junior-high, i-haven't-seen-you-in-forever-where-the-HELL-have-you-been smiles.

then my heart started pounding and i felt like a little kid. so silly but so fun.

so i've made a decision. i'm writing my name, phone #, and email on a slip of paper and putting it in my wallet. the next time i get to sit next to him on the bus i'm goin' out on a limb and giving it to him and asking him when i can take him to coffee.

*nervous sigh*

infatuation is stupid and AWESOME at the same time.

new fav quote

favorite quote from the star tribune's article on today's blizzard:

"the afternoon commute will be better if people stay off the roads."

WOO HOO!!!

the rehearsal that i had tonight [that i was going to skip anyway] has been cancelled because of the AWESOME blizzard we're experiencing ALL DAY!!!

what am i going to do instead? well, the same thing i was going to before it was cancelled!

i'm going home and making myself hot tea (prolly spiked). then i'm going to cozy up on the couch w/ the kitties and finishing watching the godfather trilogy. currently i'm on disc two of part two - michael just read his statement at the mafia hearings. i love the godfather - cinamagrahic (sp?) brillance.

icky sex

every time i find out a woman is pregnant i automatically imagine her having sex with her husband (or turkey baster if she's a lesbain). this isn't good - actually, it's disgusting. i just found out a coworker was prego... it happened again, i AUTOMATICALLY imagined her on her back *shiver* you know the rest.

oddly enough, whenever i find out from a guy that his wife is pregnant i NEVER imagine him having sex with his wife which is really too bad - i have a lot of really cute guy-friends.

cute bus guy update...

there IS NO update on cute bus guy - i haven't seen him on the bus (or downtown) for over a week now. =(

dash and i were talking at church last night and she told me that she reads my blog!!! how cool! then she caught me off guard by saying "i want to know who cute bus guy is." all i could say was "ME TOO!!!"

i don't know why i haven't seen him for over a week, but i have a few ideas:

• idea #1 - he's gone on vacation. as i type, he's laying on a beach in mexico crying his eyes out because i'm not there next to him. he probably can't even enjoy his vacation without me there - i'm sure he's thinking of me daily.
  
  
• idea #2 - he fell the other day and broke his leg and hasn't been able to go to work for a week because of the pain. he's terribly sad that he can't see me and will go to the coffee shop tonight to drown his sorrows in java. i'll see him tonight when i'm at the coffee shop and we'll run [he'll hobble] into each other's arms and kiss like cute bus guy and i should. (this one's my favorite)
  
  
• idea #3 - he moved or got a new job and will no longer be taking the 53. oh god, no... that one is too painful to think about...
  
  
• idea #4 - i'm out of ideas. well, i'm really not, i just want to spare you, my reader from my silly junior high rantings about a boy.

*sigh*

*sigh*

well, i did it. i took the gre yesterday and got scores that pass my grad school requirements (450's)!

on my verbal i didn't hit my [personal] goal but got higher than expected (540 - 64th percentile) and my quantitative i got way higher than i expected (690 - though it's only 69th percentile).

now all i have to do is submit my application and i'll be done with this process!!! i've given myself a deadline of march 15 to submit my application - i'm on task!

soon i can focus on getting a downtown condo!

sweet -n- sour slop

11:34am - chinese buffet, DAMN good buffet.

1:03pm - boring meeting. pick my nails to pass the time... what the hell? how'd i get sweet -n- sour sauce stuck to the palm of my hand??? discretely scrape it off.

1:22pm - same boring meeting. is it 2pm yet? look at watch, crips! more sweet -n- sour?!?!? this time it's in the middle of my watch face, gotta lick my finger to rub it off. jebus.

1:48pm - damnit already, is this meeting over yet? check my crotch to see how it looks in these jeans... holy jebus cripes! glob o' dried sweet -n- sour on the leg of my pants. try to discretely scrape it off but end up rubbing it into my pants more. man oh man.

3:30pm - hit watch on a file cabinet on the way to the w.c. look at watch to make sure it's ok... come ON! glob of freakin' sweet -n- sour on the band of my watch! what the freakin' HELL is wrong with me !?!?

i swear... if i find any on my winkie when i'm going to the bathroom i'm quitting for the day and going home early.

cute-guys-go-to-the-dentist day

i swear yesterday was cute-guys-should-go-to-the-dentist day. i mean, my dentist office was crawling with freakin' gorgeous guys, young, but gorgeous.

funny thing...

i was walking down the hall to my "cleaning" room with my nurse and i got distracted by a really really cute guy in one of the rooms laying in his chair. i spent too much energy staring at him that i ran into a nurse walking down the other side of the hall - busted.

fat [drunk] tuesday

don't talk too loud to me today, i accidentally drank seven beers last night.

happy lent.

jebus what a day

i don't know what it is. maybe it's the sun being out, or the fact that it's almost 40 outside, or maybe the planets are just in the right positions - but my team is completely crazy today. here's a list of topics that have randomly erupted out of the semi-work atmosphere that we've been struggling to maintain today.

• building homemade solar panels
  
• building homemade non-nuclear hydrogen bombs
  
• sadness over the ceased production of dark chocolate m&ms
  
• which person on our team would be most likely to move to chicago (for the team) and live in a hi-rise condo on lake michigan (i won)
  
• the difference between a big animal vet and a small animal vet
  
• jewish vets working on ash wednesday
  
• what's being given up (or taken on) for lent
  
• the seven deadly sins
  
• which of the seven deadly sins to give up during lent
  
• banana runts
  
• nutella
  
• the gre
  
• driving while drinking out of a flask

i'm tired.

outta the loop

i'm just not fitting in lately. every day i come into work and people spend company time discussing the tv shows that they follow on a weekly, or (god forbid) daily, basis. they chitter-chatter about like housewives discussing soap operas, only it's corporate american middle-class citizens discussing shows like survivor, gray's anatomy, or *ugh* american idol.

i just put my headphones on and work. i mean, all i'd be able to discuss is how gorgeous of a day it was yesterday, or how much fun i had with my friends watching a movie and having pizza on friday, or how i was moved by an amazing church service on sunday, or how crazy the snelling/hwy 36 retail cluster-fuck is, or how excited i am about my new knitting project (i'm sucessfully purling!!!).

*shrug*

i guess i just don't have a life.

there's hope

every two years i see our planet come together to celebrate it's only world-wide tradition. a tradition the spans time, age, religion, and nationality, a tradition that is carefully and artistically carried forth, a tradition that bring us all together in a planet-wide wish for peace. a tradition that i think we do pretty damn well.

every two years i see a planet that has hope for our future and that, in itself, gives me hope.

thanks for that hope, torino - and good luck beijing, vancouver, and london - see you soon.

achey breaky skin

what a messed-up night last night - sleeping wise that is. in an attempt to guarantee that i sleep (unlike sunday night) i took two melatonin pills at 9, by 10 i was more than ready to snooze. but a mix of really strange dreams and body aches kept me miserably tossing and turning till 3am. yeah, body aches! my skin actually hurt, you know like when you have the flu? it was horrible. my room it 61 degrees (i like it cold) but i was sweating and flopping all over unable to get rid of my horribly reaccuring dreams. they weren't horrible dreams, just horribly REACCURING dreams - miserable.

finally at 2:45 i got out of bed and drank some milk (i'm always the thirstiest for milk in the middle of the night) and then smudged my room. it seemed appropriate, i mean, i had no reason not to be sleeping - it had to be bigger. well, i was right. after smudging i layed down on my bed and almost instantly fell into a most restful sleep.

on a lighter note, i got to sit next to cute bus guy again this morning = ) he's so cute...

now what am i to do?

i'm off today. a first true attempt at a whole day focused on the most important things in my life right now, studying for the gre and writing the statements for my grad school application.

the cats are also freaking out. they need sunlight and i've blocked it out for now. it's -5 outside (-32 wind chill) and to keep my place as warm as possible i've closed all the shades and pulled all the curtains. it was working very well until i got up and opened a few shades 1/2 way for the cats to get some light, my apartment is already getting cold from that miniscule action.

the gut reaction for today would be to stay in, drink coffee all day, curl up on the couch w/ the cats and watch golden girls... i could get laundry done, clean a little, get caught up on friend's blogs, and probably do my fair share of buying music and videos on itunes. but i can't. i need to focus and need to get my ass in gear. i can do all those things tomorrow, today is for school.

so if you're a friend of mine and are reading this on friday, please call me to see what i'm doing. if i'm not at the coffee shop and i don't have a good excuse - please harp on me... getting back into "school mode" is turning out to be quite challenging = )

myers briggs bs

i just took the myers-briggs again with my team at work. it's the fourth time i've take in it in my life and the results are different every time - the last time i took it was about five years ago.

usually i love personality-ish tests, this time i was just irritated and miserable. the entire time i felt like my answering these questions was for the sole purpose of putting me into a box that would make it easier for myself, my coworkers, and the world to make sense of me. hell, if i can't make sense of me - why is it fair that everyone else should be able to?

and as for that damn box... my life has changed in the way that i no longer want to fit in a box, i take pride in the fact that my life changes and that my thoughts are fluid and that my spirituality grows via cosmic orgasmic fertilizer and not books or words by "enlightened souls" that are no more enlightened than any other human being on this celestial sphere. *sigh* i'm sick of convention, i'm sick of pretention, and i'm sick of republicans.

i just want to live and grow and deepen and enlighten - is that too much to ask of life?

dreams o' pleasure

i don't dream sex. it's just not something the universe has deemed necessary in my life (which i'd like to dispute). but lately i've been having more and more risque dreams - and some have been quite detailed. unfortunately my new husband hasn't been in them (yummy).

but last night it was a coworker, and a mighty fine coworker if that. but the dreams tend to have the same plot: i notice a really cute guy; i decide cute guy is too cute or "probably straight" for me; cute guy skips making moves, flirting, and the sort and jumps right into it; i can't believe this is happening and i decide we need to move to a more private place or at least someplace where we can be alone; we search and search, he keeps trying to mess around w/ me and i keep giving a little up but still focusing most of my energy on getting someplace where i can give it my full effort; eventually the dream ends because i've exhausted my resources and everything fizzles into the air - how disappointing.

maybe tonight i'll just say screw it, if you're going to start it here, lets do it right here in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store. = )

being a whore is hard work

i whore myself out to four coffee shops - two during the work day and two on nights and weekends. the two at night really don't count since i go to one about 80% of the time and the other only when i don't have cash or i'm hungry (because they take cards and serve AMAZING hummus pita sandwiches).

during the day, though, my coffee breaks really are a whoring ordeal. i always stop at steep -n- brew on the walk to work from my bus - their coffee is amazing and the barista, juliana, is a gorgeous asian woman who loves me and greets me by name daily. i, then, usually go to caribou once or twice a week in the afternoons for "sweet" coffees like caramel lattes or mochas - this is only done a couple times a week mainly because of the $$$ involved and the fact that i don't need all that sugar (i have a figure to maintain, you know).

well, this morning i decided to get a second cup of steep -n- brew coffee because of... well... you know about last night. on the way back, the barista in caribou saw my "non-'bou" cup and gave me a very shocked and then disappointed look. all could do is rub my tummy in a "yummy" motion.

friend-charlie turned to me and said "tom, you're a coffee whore."

my reply was simple, "yes... yes i am."