sticky soles

bf and i have been dating now for about two and a half months (is that ALL??? it seems so much longer, man how time flies). i digress...

anyway, bf has on several occasions made note that i have holes in my socks or that my undergarments seem a little, *ahem* worn. i HATE buying these items because i hate spending money on things other people don't see. i mean, i don't care if there's a hole in my sock or if my tighty-whities are more like loosey-off-whities, YOU'RE not going to see them, right?

well, the sock thing finally came to a head (heel?) today.

you see, there's a hole the size of a pencil eraser on the heel of my right sock - no problem right? wrong. every time i step on my right foot my heel-skin attaches itself to the bottom of my shoe through my hole. every time i step on my left foot (lifting my right foot) the foot goes up but the skin stays attached for a few seconds causing my right foot to feel like the shoe is grabbing ahold of my heel and not letting go! it's a creepy feeling actually.

i'm going home over lunch today, am i going to change my sock... prolly not. but i'm taking this moment to publicly state that, yes bf, my socks have holes in them. tonight when you come over you have permission to dig my right sock out of the hamper and throw it away. BUT ONLY THE RIGHT ONE! there's nothing wrong with the left one... yet. = )

whirlwind of factoids

too much to talk about and way too much to blog about, therefore you get a summarization of the last seventy-two hours:

1. two bbq's in ~five hours w/ the bf which included two full bbq potluck dinners within two hours of each other. loads of sun, thank buddha it was a gorgeous saturday.
   
2. move a friend, lots of lifting, lots of unloading, more sun, too much sweating, and titty sweat marks on my shirt. so sexy folks.
   
3. got my grades from my first grad school class... i got an A!!!!!
   
4. i made the news! kare 11 (a local station) did a story on my camp noah trip. you can view the video that was on the news here. note that it's the second video clip. oh, and i'm in it... see you if you can spot me.
   
5. it's a very dark and grim monday... JUST the way i like them. i woke up and saw that the sun was nowhere to be seen and that it was all dark-ish outside and i jumped out of bed more energized than i've been in WEEKS! i know i'm twisted, but the darkness just reminds me that summer is ending and that, thank the green man, winter and fall are just around the corner.
   
6. evil children are totally cool
   
7. i like coffee

i think that summarizes most of it.

stuff-on-a-stick day

yesterday was state fair day. a full 9 hours at the fair turned-out two very tuckered-out fags that needed to just lay back and watch old elvira movies last night.

for state fair virgins... the state fair is good for three things: eating, free stuff, and farm boys.

the eating:

• about-a-foot-long hotdog
  
• pulled-turkey sandwich
  
• sweet martha's cookies
  
• big ol' bucket o' fries
  
• strawberry and apple carmel sundaes
  
• several cokes
  
• salt water taffy

the free stuff:

• four-colored pen from mutual of omaha's wild kingdom
  
• gift cards from home depot
  
• and other crap

the farm boys:

• the poultry/rabbit barn (cocks and hares)
  
• the cattle barn (teats and cow showers and such - that barn should have a warning over the door: "warning: this building may cause an intense desire to prod... cattle that is")

of course, the final thing to do was the ever-famous trip down the ye old mill ride. of course, we got sat with two other people in the boat which was left-boat-heavy (port or starboard?) which caused us to feel like we were going to tip over. actually, i think we almost did tip over at one point, my shoes got soaked.

anyway, i'm off to two bbq's today - happy close-to-the-end-of-summer!

the holiest of shit

i am in amazed shock that two of my greatest loves, poop and coffee, have been combined in a natural process that perfects the both of them at the same time!

thanks to char-boy i have discovered the amazing world of kopi luwak. this coffee has taken a KILLER three-hour tour in to the mouth of, through the g.i. track of, and out of the ass of a luwak. it's then harvested and cleaned-up and roasted and sold as one of the world's most rare and expensive coffees. people's reviews of are amazing and i MUST try it myself.

char-boy hasn't tried it, he just told me about it. the next opportunity i get i'm ordering a sampler packet of this shit-coffee and trying it myself... man i can't wait!!!

poop coffee!!!! what's next, vomit chocolate?!?!?!

another gorgeous day...

nothing really to talk about here, just another gorgeous day during a nearly-perfect minnesota august. temperatures have been in the mid 80's during the day and dropping into the mid to low 60's at night. the sun has been shining brightly with a consistently nice mix of clouds to break it up. and life has been very good.

on days like this i wonder what will happen next, 1) a penny will fall from a tall building and slice me in two or 2) life will continue to get better and better resulting in the bf buying me a gorgeous diamond ring and asking me to marry him.

of course, realistically, neither will happen an most likely life will just do it's thing and ebb and flow and this and that and up and down like normal. and i guess i can deal with that, consistent near-perfection isn't worth bitching about. = )

namaste'

trash seeker

one day, when i was a child, my dad gathered my sisters and i and walked us to the living room.  he marched to the middle of the room where there was a scrap of paper laying in the middle of the floor.  he reached over, picked it up, and flipped it over so all of us could see the back of it.  written on the back of the paper was a short note, "whoever picks up this piece of paper, bring it to dad and he'll give you $1."  dad's point was that us kids needed to start caring about how the house looked and start picking up outside of the organized "saturday morning cleanup."  case in point, this piece of paper was put in the living room by my dad days earlier and nobody had touched it.

to this day, this moment affects me every single day.  this next statement is in no way exagerated... EVERY time i see a piece of trash on the ground my immediate thought is is someone placed it there and is watching to see if someone will care enough to pick it up.  the trash could be at work, in an elevator, in the skyway, or even on the street... my first thought is always a curious thought if someone's nearby watching me to see if i'll be the one to care.

i love my city and any chance i get, i try to pick up trash and throw it away at the nearest can.  i don't care about getting my hands dirty because i just want my city to look nice... but EVERY time i pick up a piece of trash i question myself as to if i'm doing it because i care about how the city looks or if i'm doing it because i'm afraid someone nearby planted it and i just don't want to be one of the people who just walks by and ignores it.  

unfortunately, this causes me not to pick up trash sometimes because i'm afraid that i'm doing it purely for selfish reasons... i just want to be the one that somebody sees as "the one who cares" and i want that to make me feel good.

thanks dad...

OMG!

DARK CHOCOLATE M&MS ARE BACK!!!  I'M SO FREAKIN' EXCITED I COULD JUST SQUEEEEEEEL!!!

my pants were full of shit

well... not literally but they might as well have been.

bf and i went to another gay movie last night at the lagoon theatre in uptown. folks, i haven't laughed so hard in ages. and you know what a jovial soul i am, always laughing and farting and snorting and telling poop jokes.

this movie... THIS movie, i tell you, is the most crass, obscene, rude, crude, soft-pornographic, disgusting, unnerving, hillarious, side-splitting, unholy, piece of amazingly blessed cinematic artwork that has hit the silver screen in, well, maybe ever. i truly belive the "bvm" would agree with me as well.

for those of you who are uneducated in the movie's specifics, it is a spin-off of the "scary movie" and "another date movie" genre. it takes quite a few well-known movies/tv shows and plays a farce on their most memorable scenes while wrapping it all in a very VERY queer rainbow duvet with a delicate rosebud hand-stitched in one corner. on the way home bf and i came up with this list of movies/tv shows that were spun off in the movie(a question mark following it denotes that we weren't sure if it was an official spin-off or just a very close match):

• queer as folk
  
• broken hearts club
  
• carrie
  
• american pie
  
• psycho
  
• mommy dearest
  
• trick (?)
  
• something about mary (?)
  
• savage love... (San Torum High School)!
  

anyway... this movie rocked. i think it may have passed my to-date favorite crass unholy movie, south park the movie. i think bf and i need to go see it again, man oh man was it funny...

left is right and right is oh so outdated

where: caribou coffee
when: this morning
what: a queer with a single gold hoop in his right ear
freak out: WHA?  us gay boys still DO THAT THANG???  i'm sorry, that's SO 80's.  am i wrong???

threshold

i have crossed a threshold in my new school experience - i have completed my first grad school paper!!!

my 3-5 page paper turned into an 8 pager with the help of my new coffee shop and a glass of killer shiraz. i tell you, grad school is turning out to be a TON more fun that my undergrad... i mean... i NEVER finished a paper in undergrad while buzzed from booze - i think i'm going to like grad school = )

one complaint though, APA FORMAT. i mean, who the HELL writes with only one space after periods and no blank lines between sections to give formatting??? i guess one plus is that i can write in courier 12pt which fills a page in approx 2 words - lol.

ok, i'm going home, the shop closes in 20 minutes and i should get some rest so i can proofread what i wrote tomorrow before i go to work.

one last note - i love the new apple wireless mighty mouse, it fuckin' kicks ass... no... really.

offense...

riddle me this:  as a woman, would you be offended if you found out that at work your husband was referring to you as "my roommate" or "that girl" or "my first wife?"

distracted

i'm in class right now and can't tell you how FREAKING EXCITED i am that our room has blackboards in it! AND my teacher uses them!!! we even did a presentation the other day and i was able to write on one... i was tickled.

*sigh*

i guess not everything is going tech = )

randoms

today's just a bunch of randoms cause i can't get my shit together.

• the temperature has dropped in the cities and i can finally walk to work without my underside becoming a moist vortex that my tighties get caught in.
  
• yesterday i proved that i'm truly back in college... my lunch of soda and a twix was hastily eaten on the way to class.
  
• the 48 hours of rain we had in the last few days gave me NUMEROUS opportunities to use my new umbrella. there's nothing sweeter than using an umbrella; it's like being in a movie or something, it's just so surreal.
  
• the cold i caught on the way back from camp noah is finally disappearing, not till i passed it off to my bf that is. *grin*
  
• apple freakin' ROCKS!
  

well, that's about all today, well, for now. maybe i'll blog more later while i'm in class.

school daze

a mere two days after getting back from camp noah and i'm whizzing right around to go back to school. grad school snuck up on me; a trip to target elicited an "oh shit! i need school supplies!" and checking my university email elicited an "oh shit! i have cubic ass-loads of prework to do before monday's class!"

oh, the joys of school daze-out.

walking around on campus yesterday, though, was refreshing and fun. i always loved college and have kind of missed the feel in the last couple years... that was short lived though, i no longer have to miss it cause i'm living it now! i'm so excited!!!

special thanks to the bf for being so understanding during my busy work and school schedule - i tell all of you, this one is quite special = )

camp noah - daily lessons

i thought it may be nice for you guys to know what we talked about during the camp… this posting is a short discussion of the daily lessons and teachings:

day one: preparation – noah prepared for the flood by listening to god and building an ark. he prepared for the flood w/ his wife, his three sons (ham, shem, and japheth), and their wives. the kids prepared for the flood by packing, listening to the weather, and generally figuring out where they were going.

day two: evacuation – noah evacuated by getting into the ark with two of every animal as well as with is family. the kids evacuated via car, bus, train, plane, and even boat. they went with family, friends, and others. and they went to many different destinations (some more than one destination and others to destinations yet unknown).

day three: transition – noah’s temporary home during the flood was the ark. it was cramped, smelly, and probably loud, but it was temporary. the kids were (or are still) living in temporary housing… it’s cramped, not nice, small, and not very fun at all… but it’s temporary. this is also the tough day where we talked about loss and grief. terrible stories including putting pets down and losing loved ones.

day four: new hope – noah releases the dove and gains hope when it doesn’t return after the third time. it’s a validation of the hope that things are going to change, that life is going to change, and the he’ll be off the ark soon. the kids talk about their hopes and dreams for the future and then discuss the signs that they have in their lives proving that they, too, can have a new hope for the future. in the way that noah gained hope from releasing the dove, the class wrote down our hopes on paper, folded them into paper airplanes, and threw them around the room as our “doves.” i have to admit, seeing those planes all fly at the same time made me cry. they truly understood the concept, when i explained to them that their airplanes were their “doves” they all went “oh man… that’s SO cool!!!” how could i not cry? here were “my kids” and here were “my kids” healing.

day five: a new day – noah finally leaves the ark after almost a whole year and steps on dry ground for the first time. he receives the rainbow from god and starts his new life, revived. the kids are starting to see the new day and the changes that are going to happen in their lives. they receive god’s promise that he’ll never flood the earth again and gain knowledge and comfort to know that none of the weather that occurs is a result of god because of this promise. they discuss more about their hopes and dreams and we close the time by talking about what camp noah did for them this week.

a curriculum that is truly incredible. the only unfortunate thing about it is that the kids BEGGED for us to return next year for the same camp, but this camp is focused on healing from trauma and disasters… i felt terrible that in my mind i kept thinking “if you want us back then have another hurricane.” = )

camp noah - a typical day

i thought it might be nice to let all of you know what a typical day was for camp noah!

6:30am – wake up… this is either by hearing everyone rustling around or having mister joe poke your shoulder with one finger and saying “tom, wake up.”

6:40am – shower. this is quite possibly the most scary part of the day. for those of you who have seen the “saw” movies, this shower is DIRECTLY from the movie. it’s in an old locker room in a building behind the place we’re staying. we need to walk to the door via crate flats thru the mud. two days it’s pouring rain while we’re going to the shower.

7:10am – leave for the church, maybe stop at mc’ds on the way.

7:20am – get to the church and start to set-up my room for the day.

7:50am – leave to pick up mister mark’s and my kids from their home.

9:00am – camp noah starts.

9:45am – first session w/ my kids. this lesson is the bible lesson, discussion about the hurricanes in relation to the story, and maybe journal time.

10:30am – snacks and games.

11:00am – second session w/ my kids when we do crafts and anything else discussion-wise.

12:00pm – lunch and games.

12:45pm – third session w/ my kids. this one is mostly clean-up of the morning, anything we didn’t get to complete. also some crafts if mister tom has come up with something.

1:30pm – games and snacks.

2:00pm – fourth session w/ my kids. talk, journal, and general game time.

2:30pm – special afternoon activity, e.g., fireman, stock car, weather man, etc.

3:30pm – closing worship.

4:00pm – mister mark and i drive the kids back home.

5:00pm – debrief at church, clean up room, get ready for tomorrow’s lesson, etc.

6:00pm – free time! most days this involved drinking and eating.

10:00pm – head back to the dorm.

11:00pm – blog, talk to bf on phone, bed.

camp noah - days four and five

*** written ½ in houston and ½ on a plane home ***

days four and five have flown by and now i find myself sitting in the hilton hotel in houston, the same place i was a mere six days ago, this time i’m showered, cleaned-up, ready to drink on the 24th floor of the hotel, and i’m headin’ home to the bf… oh man, life is good.

so the highlights from days four and five are as follows:

• day four – the end of the rain – day four was crazy, the kids were out of line but we were told that that would be normal because the first two days the kids would be kinda scared of us day three they’d start testing us to see if we’re trustable, and day four they’d be fully comfortable with us. i can attest to this, the kids were truly comfortable with us.
  
  what a crazy day though, the kids and i had a blast learning more about noah and ourselves, well, THEMselves. everything at camp noah was about noah and his flood compared to their hurricane. my boys are hyper but they continue to amaze me as they rattle off with no hesitation every single thing we’ve talked about this week. huh, we’re getting thru to them!
  
  
• day five – oh my god it’s the last day. i wake up with tears already in my eyes but don’t have time to think about it, we have to shower and pack by 7am – we plan on leaving for houston directly from the church after camp ends.
  
  the day’s lesson is focused on the rainbow and our hopes and dreams for the future and the signs in our lives that god cares about us. we make rainbow bracelets out of yarn (SO vacation bible school and camp mixed-up) but the kids absolutely love them. lunch is crazy and all mixed-up. our volunteers are not helping and we’re running out of food to serve the kids – i ended-up not eating lunch (i didn’t realize this till about 9pm when i was STARVING and couldn’t figure out why).
  
  the special afternoon activity was a visitor from the fire department (hot, Hot, HOT!!!) although i missed it all together because i ended-up cleaning our room and putting the kid’s crafts and stuff together for their parting.
  
  the closing ceremony was chaotic and crazy, but each class picked a day to talk about to the group and then we led everyone in our favorite camp noah song, my class picked the hippo song. KICK ASS SONG!
  
  in general the kids were absolutely unruly. at one point in the day i mentioned to another counselor that if the kids were trying to make it easy to say good bye to them that they were doing a good job = ) it’s funny though, as hellish as they were, i still cried when i said good bye to each one of them. the little shits.

camp noah - day three

day three of camp noah was a most eventful day - it started with pouring rain, it ended with pouring rain. we're in the middle of a "tropical wave" which consists of rain for days on end saturating the ground and flooding everything everywhere. we're all wet. our clothes are wet. our souls are soaring, but the're soaked as well... cleansing power of tears.

yeah, i have to take it down a notch here... the tears have been flowing lately.

today i got to talk to my class about loss and grief, specifically around hurricane rita. my class listened to a story of one of the boys having to put his dog to sleep before evacuating because he wouldn't make the trip. another boy told the story i his aunt and uncle and how both died in the storms. the kids are rough and unrefined but they're soft and cuddly. the story i started telling last night before being forced to go to bed was about a group of boys who wrestle all the time and how every once in a while one will break off from the group, come over to me, wrap his arms around me, nestle his head in the crook of my arm, and say "hi mister tom" before quickly leaving to go back to punching some other obnoxious boy. it's enough to make a person tear-up on the spot.

another thing worthy of tears is our living quarters. as if it wasn't bad enough to be sleeping on mattresses one foot apart from each other on the ground in a room with 30+ other junior high boys. but today when we got home from camp and dinner around 9:30 the entier dorm was ripped apart because the facility had recieved 200 bunk beds and everyone was putting them together at once. the music was blaring, our personal belongings were ripped from our previous beds and put on shelves, and what was promising to be an early night to bed turned into a night of hard, sweaty labor putting together the beds. i so badly wanted to sleep but ended up sweating instead... at least i got some good pictures out of it = )

camp noah is exhausting me like i never expected, but it's also making me quite humbled seeing "my boys" and their lives.

i'm going to bed but plan on another post soon... till then.

camp noah - day two

it’s raining and has been all day. the water stands wherever it lands because there really isn’t any drainage. looking outside from the foyer of the church looks like you’re looking into a greenhouse – the outsides of the windows are all clouded over and misty from the rain, whenever i walk by one on my way into the building i write my name in the haze.

my group of 4, 5, and 6 graders went from a group of four yesterday morning to six yesterday afternoon and then to sixteen today. i’m the sole leader responsible for these kids and i have two helpers to help me stay sane. i need them like you have no idea.

i’m hoarse from talking loudly, have a headache from yelling at the boys to stop wrestling, and melted from all the girls who keep walking up to give me hugs and say “hi mister tom.”

we took the children to the lake charles children’s museum this afternoon for a pizza party and an afternoon of crazy fun. the museum wasn’t anything like the Minnesota children’s museum in saint paul, but it’s incredible and better in many ways. the whole museum could fit into the LOBBY of the saint paul museum but man those kids had fun.

i’ve been so moved by these children. it’s almost unbearable at times. i hear the stories, see the faces, and i just cry… literally. two things have stuck out to me quite strongly in the last two days (names have been changed).

1. billy is 12. he’s laying on the ground like all the rest of the class… we’re writing out names vertically on a piece of paper and then writing a word or phrase that begins with each of the letters of our names to describe ourselves – billy has chosen the word “invisible” for his “i” word. i’ve watched him spell it i-n-y and then scribble it out. next he tried i-n-u and then he scribbled that out as well. then i watched him stare at the letters i-n for a minute or more. i finally came over to him and asked if he needed any help. his response? whispering so the other kids in the class couldn’t hear, he said “mister tom, i can’t remember how to make a ‘v’.” it took a bit to choke back the tears… here’s my darling, adorable billy, 12 years old, and he can’t make a ‘v’. this is typical of kids who have been thru trauma, they regress by years – there are many kids in my 4/5/6th grade class who can’t read.
   
2. wrestling boys huggin me.

dammit - i need to go now... some asshole youth leader w/ another group staying in our dorm room decided to tell the entire room of guys (three separate groups) that he's turning out the lights in five mintues. THEN he had the balls to tell us that he undid several lights and that the room will be pitch black (LEGAL ISSUE!).

anyway... gotta post later... adios!

camp noah - day one

well, today was the first day of camp noah. it was an extremely emotional day of meeting kids and seeing for the first time the trauma they went thru. we also got to go to cameron, louisiana to see where hurricaine rita hit the hardest. not only is this place shattered from the damage but one of my kids is from this town... i got to see where she lived and was completely dumbfounded. words can't even begin to describe the knot in my stomach seeing her w/ her family in their new surroundings.

the most amazing thing, though, was how peaceful and quiet it was in cameron. there was a moist cool breeze coming from the golf and the air was refreshing. amidst all this damage and reminders of a hellish-nightmare was peace. what a surreal experience.

this post is coming to you quite late because my group finished camp around 4:30 today, then went off to an authentic southern fried chicken dinner, then drove 40+ mi1nutes to cameron. my group didn't get back to the "dorms" till approx 11:10pm.

THANKFULLY though, the dorms finally got their ethernet connection up and running and i'm able to 1) post yesterday's post that didn't get out and 2) write this one up and give you an update. it's been a very busy day so i apologize terribly if i wasn't able to get to you all.

vicki - sorry i haven't called, the dorms have 30+ guys in them sleeping right now and i can't talk cause my battery is WAY low. i promise i'll call tomorrow to catch up on things.

bf - i miss you terribly. your text message in the middle of the day made me smile for the rest of the day. i really wish i could have spoken to you before i went to bed but see vicki's note above... i know you'll understand. i can't wait to see you on saturday though and sleep in a normal bed that's normal sized that doesn't have plastic on it and (the most important part) with my boyfriend next to me.

SO many more stories to tell... i think a group of us are stopping at a mcd's tomorrow morning for breakfast so i'll be able to send out another blog on their wireless network... till then!