25 July, 2005

the circle of life

yesterday i found out that an ex's uncle died at age 57. normally, this news wouldn't mean too much to me, as a matter of fact, i probably wouldn't care at all. this one was different though.

his uncle was gay. he had a partner. he was the first person most of his family ever knew of to be gay. he was also a figure that my ex looked up to very much. as a gay man, as a gay man in a relationship, as a gay man in a family that had accepted him and his partner.

i haven't really talked to this ex for almost 3 years now, since we broke-up. i still feel bad for the reason he stopped talking to me, but a person can only apologize so many times.

i sent him a card today telling him how sad i was to hear the news, and to wish him well.

as i sealed the card i had an overwhelming wave of sadness come over me.

i hope i hear from him again some day - i'd really like to patch things up between him and i.

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