300th post!!!

*** i just noticed that this is my 300th post! and how appropriate, it's about shitting! ***

question: what do the following things have in common?

• pooping
  
• peeing
  
• that-time-of-the-month-ing
  
• farting
  
• burping
  
• boob adjusting
  
• ball itching

answer: they're all things that our bodies MUST do to survive or they're things we MUST do in order to be comfortable in our bodies... and they're all things that we're not allowed to do unless we're in private.

begin rant: why the hell are we so ashamed of the things that we HAVE to do in order to survive? i mean, every human farts. every human poops. every human pisses. every human has to burp or fart at some time. and every human just needs to scratch, itch, and move-it-a-little-to-the-left sometimes. yet we get looked at like we're the most rude person on this celestial ball if we do it outside of our own private universe.

i've even seen people talk about how inappropriate it is to fart loudly in the bathroom... IN THE BATHROOM!?!?!? WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA FART!?!?!

my wish for this yule season isn't for peace on earth or food for every starving child...

i want to be able to fart in a meeting without being embarrassed because everyone else in the meeting understands that i just had to do it otherwise i'd have terrible stomach cramps.

i want to be able to scratch my balls while teaching without being thought of as a perve because my students understand that sometimes, underwear can really be uncomfortable when it bunches-up.

i want to stop hearing my sisters talk about taking dumps in stalls that are next to each other and how funny it was... i want to be in the stall next to them laughing my ass off that one of them just let out a huge fart.

really folks... why are humans such freakin' prudes?

so anyway... 300th post... my gift to you... have a cool yule!