lately, i've become increasingly disillusioned by random acts of kindness by focusing more on being skeptical of the person's altruism rather than the kindness itself.
if you would have asked me ten years ago i would have said i believed in the inherent goodness of mankind, but at age 32, with 120 years of life experience, my hopes for the future of humanity are swiftly decreasing to mere piles of dust.
if on my walk into work i almost get run over by two cars that are too impatient to let a pedestrian cross the street [legally, on a walk signal], how am i to feel when a random stranger wants to open a door for me? i look into the stranger's eyes and don't see kindness but, rather, see a desire to be acknowledged and praised for their generosity.
i think i'd rather not hold open a door for a stranger than open it for them and risk my motives not being true and i think i'd rather be looked at as not being kind (by others) than know that i'm being insincere (by myself).
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