jebus what a day

i don't know what it is. maybe it's the sun being out, or the fact that it's almost 40 outside, or maybe the planets are just in the right positions - but my team is completely crazy today. here's a list of topics that have randomly erupted out of the semi-work atmosphere that we've been struggling to maintain today.

• building homemade solar panels
  
• building homemade non-nuclear hydrogen bombs
  
• sadness over the ceased production of dark chocolate m&ms
  
• which person on our team would be most likely to move to chicago (for the team) and live in a hi-rise condo on lake michigan (i won)
  
• the difference between a big animal vet and a small animal vet
  
• jewish vets working on ash wednesday
  
• what's being given up (or taken on) for lent
  
• the seven deadly sins
  
• which of the seven deadly sins to give up during lent
  
• banana runts
  
• nutella
  
• the gre
  
• driving while drinking out of a flask

i'm tired.

outta the loop

i'm just not fitting in lately. every day i come into work and people spend company time discussing the tv shows that they follow on a weekly, or (god forbid) daily, basis. they chitter-chatter about like housewives discussing soap operas, only it's corporate american middle-class citizens discussing shows like survivor, gray's anatomy, or *ugh* american idol.

i just put my headphones on and work. i mean, all i'd be able to discuss is how gorgeous of a day it was yesterday, or how much fun i had with my friends watching a movie and having pizza on friday, or how i was moved by an amazing church service on sunday, or how crazy the snelling/hwy 36 retail cluster-fuck is, or how excited i am about my new knitting project (i'm sucessfully purling!!!).

*shrug*

i guess i just don't have a life.

there's hope

every two years i see our planet come together to celebrate it's only world-wide tradition. a tradition the spans time, age, religion, and nationality, a tradition that is carefully and artistically carried forth, a tradition that bring us all together in a planet-wide wish for peace. a tradition that i think we do pretty damn well.

every two years i see a planet that has hope for our future and that, in itself, gives me hope.

thanks for that hope, torino - and good luck beijing, vancouver, and london - see you soon.

achey breaky skin

what a messed-up night last night - sleeping wise that is. in an attempt to guarantee that i sleep (unlike sunday night) i took two melatonin pills at 9, by 10 i was more than ready to snooze. but a mix of really strange dreams and body aches kept me miserably tossing and turning till 3am. yeah, body aches! my skin actually hurt, you know like when you have the flu? it was horrible. my room it 61 degrees (i like it cold) but i was sweating and flopping all over unable to get rid of my horribly reaccuring dreams. they weren't horrible dreams, just horribly REACCURING dreams - miserable.

finally at 2:45 i got out of bed and drank some milk (i'm always the thirstiest for milk in the middle of the night) and then smudged my room. it seemed appropriate, i mean, i had no reason not to be sleeping - it had to be bigger. well, i was right. after smudging i layed down on my bed and almost instantly fell into a most restful sleep.

on a lighter note, i got to sit next to cute bus guy again this morning = ) he's so cute...

now what am i to do?

i'm off today. a first true attempt at a whole day focused on the most important things in my life right now, studying for the gre and writing the statements for my grad school application.

the cats are also freaking out. they need sunlight and i've blocked it out for now. it's -5 outside (-32 wind chill) and to keep my place as warm as possible i've closed all the shades and pulled all the curtains. it was working very well until i got up and opened a few shades 1/2 way for the cats to get some light, my apartment is already getting cold from that miniscule action.

the gut reaction for today would be to stay in, drink coffee all day, curl up on the couch w/ the cats and watch golden girls... i could get laundry done, clean a little, get caught up on friend's blogs, and probably do my fair share of buying music and videos on itunes. but i can't. i need to focus and need to get my ass in gear. i can do all those things tomorrow, today is for school.

so if you're a friend of mine and are reading this on friday, please call me to see what i'm doing. if i'm not at the coffee shop and i don't have a good excuse - please harp on me... getting back into "school mode" is turning out to be quite challenging = )

myers briggs bs

i just took the myers-briggs again with my team at work. it's the fourth time i've take in it in my life and the results are different every time - the last time i took it was about five years ago.

usually i love personality-ish tests, this time i was just irritated and miserable. the entire time i felt like my answering these questions was for the sole purpose of putting me into a box that would make it easier for myself, my coworkers, and the world to make sense of me. hell, if i can't make sense of me - why is it fair that everyone else should be able to?

and as for that damn box... my life has changed in the way that i no longer want to fit in a box, i take pride in the fact that my life changes and that my thoughts are fluid and that my spirituality grows via cosmic orgasmic fertilizer and not books or words by "enlightened souls" that are no more enlightened than any other human being on this celestial sphere. *sigh* i'm sick of convention, i'm sick of pretention, and i'm sick of republicans.

i just want to live and grow and deepen and enlighten - is that too much to ask of life?

dreams o' pleasure

i don't dream sex. it's just not something the universe has deemed necessary in my life (which i'd like to dispute). but lately i've been having more and more risque dreams - and some have been quite detailed. unfortunately my new husband hasn't been in them (yummy).

but last night it was a coworker, and a mighty fine coworker if that. but the dreams tend to have the same plot: i notice a really cute guy; i decide cute guy is too cute or "probably straight" for me; cute guy skips making moves, flirting, and the sort and jumps right into it; i can't believe this is happening and i decide we need to move to a more private place or at least someplace where we can be alone; we search and search, he keeps trying to mess around w/ me and i keep giving a little up but still focusing most of my energy on getting someplace where i can give it my full effort; eventually the dream ends because i've exhausted my resources and everything fizzles into the air - how disappointing.

maybe tonight i'll just say screw it, if you're going to start it here, lets do it right here in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store. = )

being a whore is hard work

i whore myself out to four coffee shops - two during the work day and two on nights and weekends. the two at night really don't count since i go to one about 80% of the time and the other only when i don't have cash or i'm hungry (because they take cards and serve AMAZING hummus pita sandwiches).

during the day, though, my coffee breaks really are a whoring ordeal. i always stop at steep -n- brew on the walk to work from my bus - their coffee is amazing and the barista, juliana, is a gorgeous asian woman who loves me and greets me by name daily. i, then, usually go to caribou once or twice a week in the afternoons for "sweet" coffees like caramel lattes or mochas - this is only done a couple times a week mainly because of the $$$ involved and the fact that i don't need all that sugar (i have a figure to maintain, you know).

well, this morning i decided to get a second cup of steep -n- brew coffee because of... well... you know about last night. on the way back, the barista in caribou saw my "non-'bou" cup and gave me a very shocked and then disappointed look. all could do is rub my tummy in a "yummy" motion.

friend-charlie turned to me and said "tom, you're a coffee whore."

my reply was simple, "yes... yes i am."

vd

i just think it's hillarious that the abbreviation for this day is the same as the abbreviation for an std.

i don't hate vd, really. but when people start talking about it all love-dovey and crap i usually pipe-in with a comment that hints to my animosity towards it. why do i do this? i dunno, i think it has to do with fact that in the middle of a vd conversation the other person typically expects me to be a bitter, single, fag - i guess i just decide it's easier to stoop tp their low expectations than try to convince them that, no, really, i don't hate this day.

but, truly, today has been a decent day. at work they announced a 9% bonus and almost better than that, golden girls season 4 came out on dvd today.

i think too many people rely on other people's declaration of love in order to convince them that they, too, should love themselves - i for one say fuck that. i love myself plenty and i don't need anyone else for that validation.

true, i'd LOVE a boyfriend on this day, but without one i'm not going to bitch - hell, i've had a super evening. why - you ask? well let me tell you what i did this evening and i'll let YOU decide = )

i got home and cracked open a most amazing bottle of 1995 chateau les graves de viaud cotes di bourg. i drank a glass while finishing the dishes and then went to target to get some stuff. on the way home i got good ol' taco bell and came home. i proceeded to watch the first few episodes of golden girls season 4 while continuing to drink my cotes de bourg. by the time i was about 3 drinks away from finishing the bottle, my friends from upstairs called and i went up and watched some HOT figure skaters (i'll leave the details for another blog) and then we went to the front porch to share a vd cig. and now i'm here talking about my super night [mostly] by myself drinking a bottle of wine and watching gg's.

who needs a man?

i think i'm going to go pass out now.

happy vd folks.

faure faux pax

my boss just caught me "air directing" faure's requiem at my desk.

...

yeah, i guess that's all i can say about that.

*sheepish grin*

office conversation

john - hey tom, you're one of the people on your team who support informatica, right?

me - yeah

john - well, there's an informatica conference coming up in may and my area doesn't have the money to send me, they're saving all their money for java conferences. i talked to another area and they can't send anyone either. we really want someone to go to this conference, would your area have the time or money to send someone?

me - yeah, we have conference money budgeted this year and we're trying to figure out where to use it. where's the conference?

john - san francisco.

me - hey, i'm in! that's like mecca for me, i mean, after going there i could die fulfilled!

john - hey, yeah, you're right. you'd definately have a leg-up on the competition.

me - uh...

john - *deep red* uuuuuuh... um... no pun intended...

wpm

so i'm filling-out my grad school application and filled-in that i type at 85 wpm. this is pretty freakin' cool considering i was the top typer in my typing class in high school at 30 wpm - i've improved by 283%!!!

yay for me.

death becomes her

this week i created a playlist on my ipod called "death becomes her." it consists of songs that document either 1)the death of the singer or 2)the death of the singer's friends. here's the list of the deaths that are document (with their singers in parens):

evita (evita - evita)

the friends of mary (mary - the beautiful game)

the friends of marius (marius - les miserable)

jean valjean (jean valjean, fantine, cosette, marius, eponine - les miserables)

eponine (eponine, marius - les miserables)

fantine (fantine, jean valjean - les miserables)

aida and radames (aida and radames - aida)

mimi (mimi - la boheme)

mimi (roger - rent)

angel (tom - rent)

don quixote (don quixote, sancho, dulcenea, priest - man of lamancha)

kim (kim and chris - miss saigon)

elphaba (elphaba and glinda - wicked)

judy garland (peter and liza - boy from oz)

sarah (coalhouse and company - ragtime)