true mcdonald's story

the setup
me: hungry
mcdonald's lady: lunchlady-ish, old-ish, "i smoke 3-packs a day"-ish

the conversation
me: i'd like a #11 please.
ml: what kind of sauce would you like?
me: hot mustard please

(slapping packets on the counter)

ml: (loudly) HE LIKES HIS MUSTARD LIKE HE LIKES HIS WOMEN!
me: (feigning astonishment) wow! (chuckle) how'd you know!?!?

(pause)

ml: WELL... (dramatic deep breath) when you've lived this long you learn a thing or two.

wow... i can't wait till i'm older so i know what it's like to be uncannily smart.