just another day?

this is the first time in 28 years that i have not ridden the paschal rollercoaster.

the rollercoaster ride starts during advent when the car slowly creeps toward an apex that can only end in a glorious celebration of the birth of the christ child. after a few weeks/months in ecstasy the car plunges into the depths of despair on ash wednesday when christians around the world begin 40 days of constant reminding of their general unworthiness, inability to be “saved”, and despair over not being able to be in the light of the universe all on account of being human. one would think this despair would end on the most holy of sundays, easter but no, easter does nothing more than give christians one more excuse to fall at the feet of the “throne of grace” to grovel as, once again, unworthy human scum.

do you realize that when calculating the lenten season in a person’s live that a christian adult that is 50 years old has spent approximately five and a half YEARS in a state of lamentation over their unworthiness of being able to be in the presence of their own creator? they get over this damning feeling by using christ as a literal scapegoat for their unworthiness which, supposedly, gives them peace. i think the biggest despair is that these adults allow themselves to be duped into believing that they’re not worthy of anything that is given to them by the universe.

i guess there’s no better time than today, easter sunday, to state that i no longer fall for that bullshit. i believe that humans are beautiful and perfect as they are. i believe that humans are worthy of love by the universe and i believe that humans are powerful beyond their wildest dreams. evil exists in the world because humans refuse to acknowledge their power and their status of “loved.” the greatest sin of all is when a human willingly allows themselves to believe that they don’t deserve happiness.

i refuse to grovel at the feet of a sexist, jealous, violent, homophobic god… i stand up tall and proud and worship in the beauty of the holiness that surrounds me by a universal power that is truly loving and accepting and doesn’t wish harm on anyone… even if they don’t believe in it’s existence.