ahhhh

i took the air conditioner out of my bedroom window last night. what a great feeling to remove such a huge piece of shit reminder of unbearably hot days and shove it back in the closet (no pun intended). of course, the lack of the ac made my sleeping last night some of the best since i put it in! the temp dropped ungodly low and i had flannel sheets on my bed... what a perfect setup for a night of comfort and contentment all by myself = )

the next big step in moving towards and celebrating winter is to put on the storm windows... but i'll leave that step for a few months from now, i like having the windows cracked open too much. as a matter of fact i've had the same windows open the same amount for about 8 months now... how facinating = )

ok, i'm boring today, i know. i'm off to work some this afternoon (and most likey have a few too many smoke breaks). maybe i'll have a little more excitement to announce when i get back from bead monkey tonight!!!

shit

got into work early today, staying till the usual time. i'm off to get sushi w/ a friend and then hopefully home to hang out w/ the pussy cat. i might stop by target and barnes -n- noble on the way home too.

no reason for the title of this blog - just like that word so much i thought i'd put it right on top!

oh, i had the first rehearsal for cheap & tawdry last night - oh how fun is this going to be... monkeys, pissing, vaginas, death, flying knives, virgins, hymen, smoking, drinking, s/m, spaking, and vomiting. i bet you just can't WAIT to see this show!

twill be a good one folks - i promise on my monkey's ass = )

birthday results

well, my birthday weekend was a success!!!

i made it to theatre de la jeaune lune, a house warming party, the men's warehouse, all of the galleria and especially len druskin, the minnesota orchestra, margaret cho and ani difranco, southdale mall, big bowl, the kitty cat klub, boom!, the gay 90's, the imperial room, jetset... and i think that's all!

i got to bed at 1 on thursday, 4 on friday, and 6 on saturday (which i guess really counts as sunday).

the drinking was kept to a surprising minimum with a culmination of beverages on saturday resulting in only a small headache on sunday morning (or afternoon if you consider that i woke up at 1:30pm).

what a fun time!!!

things i learned from my 26th birthday weekend:

mixing friends can be fun - but is exhausting physically and mentally

free food is good

free drinks are even better

the 90's sucks sometimes

first avenue is fucking SCARY at bar close... don't do it if you absolutly can help it

take a moroccan with you whenever you go out downtown minneapolis - not only is he cute, but he knows everyone

sleep is overrated

and my final moment of pride from this weekend - i spent a total of $4.50 over 3 days. $3 for a parking garage and $1.50 for motrin on sunday morning.

yay for birthdays!!! i think i need a year to recover...

ah hell... who's next!?!?!?!

blonde moment

so i'm driving into work this morning and a utility truck in front of me had an orange construction cone hanging upsidedown through a ladder.

on the cone was writing... all i caught was "peders", the ladder wrungs were covering the other letters.

i think to myself "huh, a pedestrian cone" then realize that pedestrian was spelled wrong. so, the next i try is to pronounce it some other way... i come up with "pay-day-ray-zhone" with emphasis on the second syllable. "huh" i think to myself, "it's a spanish pedestrian sign" not even thinking that pay-day-ray-zhone actually sounds more latin than spanish.

it's then that i look at the rest of the truck and realize its a pederson construction truck.

woo hoo!!!

i made it onto the city pages babelogue listing! how fun is THAT!

i'm movin' on up (movin' on up)...
to the blog-side (to the blog-side)...
to a de-luxe listing in the city pages (woo, woo, woo)
YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! i'm movin' on up (movin' on up)...
in the blog world (in the blog world)...
finally got a piece of that...
***eew, pie? um... i don't want a piece o' pie, yuck. howz about***
finally got a piece of that tu-hu-hu-huuuube steeeeaaaaak!

***attention all!!! birthday plans***

***attention everyone!!!***

all are invited to my birthday "party"/gathering on saturday night! here are the deets...

where - boom! and the 90's
when - 10:30pm meet at boom! we'll take it from there as the spirit leads
why - duh, for my birthday silly
whom - everyone!!! especially you guys in iran, manhattan kansas, australia, and portugal
what to bring - $$$ to buy me drinks (no gifts allowed) i also accept cigarettes (parliament lights) as i assume i'll be running low by that evening.

***and now back to our regularly scheduled blog rantings***

sponge-suey square-chop

today was the food day at work for my birthday. note, my birthday isn't for two more days, but everyone on my team is here on thursday and not on friday, i.e., i get more treats = )

although i was mortified when i turned the corner and saw obnoxious blue streamers and balloons announcing my increase in age, i was comforted when i saw the beautiful spongebob squarepants 'happy birthday' sign stretched along my cube wall = ) how thoughtful of them to decorate with my favorite cartoon character of all time... honestly... i have prolly 10 hours of sb/sp dvds at home.

oh the love - thanx to my team = )

ooh, next blog: my birthday weekend plans!!!

vitamin c

i've eaten over 2000 mg of vitamin c today... i think i'm going to be shitting oranges tonight.

i haven't drank my daily water amount yet, only about 18 oz, which means the oranges are going to be shrivled.

i've actually been working quite hard today... those poor oranges are going to be so tough.

i have messed up men in my life - one wants to marry me but doesn't wanna have anything to do with me, another wants to marry me and takes every opportunity to jump the gun with it, another is really super cute but i'm thinking he may only be a friend, one is actually out there that i want to marry... but he's straight, oh yeah, and then there's all of the ones that fell in love with me that i never called back - i'm still waiting for them to somehow find each other on some "we hate tom" website and come to my place in the middle of the night, pour lube all over my bed, let my cat in the room so his hair gets all over the lube, and then make me lay in it while drinking tequila and listening to billy gilman *shiver* those oranges sure as hell better have vaginas.

i gotta pay bills - damn expensive oranges.

and all because i ate too much vitamin c. oh wait, this has nothing to do with vitamin c... what the fuck am i talking about...

cool sign

my wonderful friend amy just ordered this great kerry/edwards sign. you should too!

BUSY days around here, forgive me if i don't blog as much as i should.

oh, and the bday is on saturday... everyone ready???

hola

good morning my dear friends, i'm teaching the "relational database design and admin basics" class this morning. right now the class is doing some small-group research on database cardinality, how fun is that!

i just thought i should stop by and say hi.

what did i do last night you ask? well... i worked till about 6:30, got home at 7, drank two beers, ordered chinese delivery, had a smoke, ate one of those awesome blueberry pies from sa, and went to bed. yes, you heard it right... i went to bed around 10pm last night. i thought i deserved it after working almost 11 hours yesterday = )

oops, time to teach about cardinality and referential integrity!!!

*smooch*

love won out

this weekend i took a stand against the right-wing christian ideal that glbt folks, like myself, can (and should) escape this horrible life of sin and turn back to the straight godhead.

myself, and my friend nick, took our signs to arden hills, minnesota to protest the love won out conference. i donned my sign that read in big bold letters "i am a gay christian." among the 30 or so people at our peaceful protest, we were the oldest, at a mere 23 and 26. a majority of the kids came from highland park high school in saint paul... my blessings on all of you guys 10-fold.

this was a new step for me. and a scary one. i didn't know what to expect, yet i went anyway, the conviction to go woke me up that morning and i would have just died all weekend had i not stood up for my rights and beliefs.

i was touched by the support we had from random kids telling us stories of how the news of the protest went through every class on friday and that earlier in the day they had at least 2x as many protesters. i was also horrified at the amount of people who drove by and chose to flip the bird or swear obscenities out their windows at peaceful youth, bearing signs reading "i am a gay christian", "agape", and "celebrate diversity." what is it about these oh so peaceful and loving comments that scare and intimidate people to the point of being obscene.

people, it's a fucked-up world we live in if we can't even gather peacefully to celebrate our differences without being attacked.

as a gay human being it's not just my responsibility to perpetuate love in this situation... it's yours too.

stand up against hatred.

i am a gay christian

the results of my weekend todo list

drink gin - only a little

go to coffee w/ vicki - did it and had a great time!

let nick use my piano - yep, and we had a blast!

grocery shop - oops, nope, didn't get to that

smoke - finished off a pack and a half over 3 days...

pay bills - eek... must do today

drink more gin - see above

do laundry - three loads!

do dishes - two times!

drink beer - nope

clean my apartment - CONSTANTLY

meditate - a tad bit, yes

work out... nah, just go sit in the steamroom - lol, me... work out?

drink water - not really, just lots of 7up

bitch about bush - when don't i do that?

go to church - skipped it

make out w/ a hot man - yeah, right...

drink vodka at moscow on the hill - nope, but went to fhimas and nyes

sleep in - oh yeah baby = )

farmers market - nope

cure world hunger - i spread my arms and declared it over

among other things i painted my bathroom, put up these really cool new shoe racks from ikea, and ate food. how fun and relaxing of a weekend! yay!!!

my weekend todo list

drink gin

go to coffee w/ vicki

let nick use my piano

grocery shop

smoke

pay bills

drink more gin

do laundry

do dishes

drink beer

clean my apartment

meditate

work out... nah, just go sit in the steamroom

drink water

bitch about bush

go to church

make out w/ a hot man

drink vodka at moscow on the hill

sleep in

farmers market

cure world hunger

it's not too long... just a few things for me to do. come monday you'll get a full update on the sucess of my endevors = )

happy weekend everyone!

boredom

well, i'm not REALLY bored, i was just in a bored phone-meeting. so boring i ended up drawing all over my left thumbnail with a red marker. such a cool design too: it was three lines made of little dots that intersected my nail with the meeting point being in the upper right-hand corner, thus creating six unequal 'pie' pieces. i then filled every other pie piece with tiny little dots. the end result looked like a really nicely done 'bomb shelter' sign. i'm so talented = )

oh, and when i was waiting for the bus this morning i found a button stuck into the bark of a tree. 'huh, a button in a tree, how unusual' i thought to myself. when i read the button i immediately ripped it off the tree, stuffed it in pocket before anyone could see me, and the proudly attached it to my man bag... what did it say? "well, today was a total waste of makeup"

*uncontrolable gay giggling*

quote

so my friend kate just came by my desk... she was listening to al franken's radio show. some lady called in and said a great quote (of course, referringto THOSE republicans).

"ya know... if you tell a lie enough times, stupid people will believe it."

how true...

whoa

last night i went to 'recent tragic events' at the jungle theater in minneapolis. this show approaches post-9/11-ism in a way i have yet to see on stage.

opening the show we're reminded that life twists and turns on us, many times leaving us with multiple potential outcomes, i.e. "what could have happened" in a very powerful and fun way we're reminded of this constantly throughout the first act.

moving on, the show takes you on a journey through that 'day after.' you remember it, 'america under attack' is playing on the tv constantly, you're sick of it but can't bring yourself to turn it off - this theme alone is so accurately portrayed in the simplicity of a tv on stage, constantly on, and a constant soundtrack playing the events over and over throughout the entire play. it's a strange flashback that i, myself, had almost entirely blocked.

it's a show not as much about love as they may have you believe, but it's a show about people in the midwest coming together, as happenstance as it may be, on the day after a terrible awakening.

i totally recommend everyone to see it, if not to relive these events in a non-political way, but to have your eyes opened to something you already knew about yourself... but maybe hadn't yet put into words.

recent tragic events @ the jungle theater (lake & lyndale), playing september 17 - november 6

FINALLY!!!

i finished the beethovens!!!

symphony #4

symphony #6

symphony #5

to find out what the hell i'm talking about, click here

a few minutes to waste...

well, i guess it's not really wasting my minutes if i'm blogging because it's like saying i'm wasting my minutes talking to a friend. i would never consider talking to a friend a waste of my minutes, that is unless that said friend wasn't much of a friend and i didn't want to talk to them, i guess that would be a waste of my minutes. but even if i didn't want to talk to them i would still have control over how i spent my minutes and if i didn't want to talk to them that badly then i wouldn't have, so my minutes used on the not-really-a-friend wouldn't be wasted at all.

so lunch is done and i had a few minutes to spare before going back to the grindstone... i chose to spend them on you, my blog buddies. you should all feel special = )

*communal sigh*

1003!!!

my counter has officially hit 1000!!!

thank you to all of you wonderful people who have checked out my blog on an obsessive-enough basis to bring my counter over 1000 in such short time. i love you all!

ooh FUN!

i just found this kick ass site! typingtest.com allows you to take a typing test (yeah, like the ones in high school) and get immediate results on your typing. for instance, my wpm is around 80, my accuracy is around 96%.

check it out for yourself, how much fun is typing!?!?!

weeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tettegouche and my private thoughs...

what a kick ass time! not only did our campsite have quite possibly the most gorgeous view of lake superior, the company made the time absolutly perfect!

check out jessie's pics online. all 133 of mine are on a cd and since i don't have snapshot or anything like that you'll have to email me and i'll send them to you myself!

i just have to say one more thing. my final thought:

throughout the centuries life has continued to become more and more hectic, bogged down, stressful, prepackaged, and unbearable - putting each and every one of us in a place that seems confined and endless. should it be a surprise that leaving the world as we know it, not worrying about showering, doing the hair, putting on makeup, smelling pretty, or being private about all-too-human things like going to the bathroom makes us feel more relaxed and content than we've felt in years? i camp not necessarily because it's fun (though it IS a blast), but i camp because it's when i'm camping that i'm faced with endless opportunities to focus back on the most important things in my life: myself, my higher-power, the nature that brings us together, and the friends that experience it with me. i camp because it reminds me that there are more important things in life than my debt, my car, my job, my apartment, my movies, or my music. i camp because it brings me to a place where, without a doubt, i'm going to be healed. i always leave feeling refreshed and ready for life, and ready for the next time i can be revived.

good morning!

just a quick note to say hi! i've been at work now for 1.5 hours... note that i'm usually pulling in around now on a NORMAL day = )

last night proved to be quite sucessful as i completed everything i was intending on doing... and a little bit more *wink*

as i head off to tettegouche for camping, i want all of you to have a super weekend... think of me up on the north shore, around a campfire, drinking huge amounts of beer and gin, smoking way too much, and freezing my ass off. don't forget the smores! and if you think of it, ask your higher power to remove some of the lung butter from my chest, i'm getting sick of having to spit everytime i cough. sorry if i grossed any of you out = )

toodle-ooo!

can you believe it!?!?

i have worked almost a complete 8 hour day without ANY distractions taking me away from my desk! i think its quite amazing, if i may say so myself, that a self-proclaimed adult with adult a.d.d. can do this.

of course, here i am, blogging. but i though, heck, i'm only here for another 13 minutes... i can't go and ENTIRE day without slacking = )

off to camp tomorrow... tonight i need to pick up the supplies, get my oil changed, buy tons of beer, get snacks, oh yeah... cigs, do laundry, and pack. can he do it folks? yeah... i have enough time, but do i have enough money... eh?

if i don't get time to post tomorrow... everyone have a FUCKIN' SUPER weekend!!!

i'm alright... i'm allllllllright

for those of you who were getting your thongs in a bunch... i'm doing ok. the gas is gone.

*huge grin*

but my cold has officially moved into my chest, i coughed myself into a headache last night and could only go to bed to make it better. i hate coughing and i hate headaches. and i HATE lung butter... nuff said.

it's finally getting cooler outside and i'm estatically packing for my camping trip this weekend to tettegouche state park on the north shore. twill be a chilly one but will be a refreshing change from the normal city life... i can't WAIT for smores and gin and smokes and pooping in the woods!!!

fyi - no blogging from friday - sunday this week cause of the camping. i AM working till 11 on friday so i'll try my hardest to get a blog in before i go = )

*children in carpool alert*

don't eat the minnesota life cafeteria's chicken tortilla soup - sounds good... but there's only two words to describe it "gassy mess"

so i'm on the elevator after a meeting. i'm alone, so i take the opportunity to let a huge gassy fart rip through the oversized and echoey space... i impressed myself actually = )

but then the elevator stops on my floor and i get off... but my boss gets in. poor woman.

i sure as hell hope it stank like dead rats = )

whooo doggies

what a weekend... had i done any less, my ass would have combined with the couch and we would have become one being. where were all my friend you ask?

jessie - managa

nicole - chicago

joe - phoenix

bill - doing a wedding

brian - duluth

mark - duluth

dana - not calling me

so as you can see, my friday and saturday nights blew. any plans i had planned on planning got smacked in the face. my two evenings consisted of sitting on my ass at home watching movies, tv, and adult videos, drinking 7up and gin -n- juice, and smoking here and there and everywhere.

then sunday came! i called jess and mark and said "dudes, we're going out... we're gonna drink too much, dance too hard, sweat too much, and get home too late." and it was so... nye's and the 90's what a mix.

oh, and how queer is it to go to a bar w/ friends and be able to say "i slept w/ him... and him... and him... and him... and dated him... and slept w/ his ex..." how embarassingly fun!!!

and i'm FINALLY getting a haircut tonight... say good bye to the alley cat... say hello to the fox = )

*grrrrrrrrrowl*

chinky-chonk

last night was a SUPERBLAST when my bestest girlfriend, jess and i went to uptown. until last night she was a chino latino virgin... yeah, we "broke" her of that *giggle*

a blackberry mohito, passion colatta, and pot stickers later and she was hooked... although i think i hooked her the moment her drink was delivered with the biggest-ass drink umbrella ever - almost big enough to protect j-lo's ass from the rain. nah, i don't think they make umbrella's that big.

love ya kiddo = )

i think i'm going to do my b-day party there... all are invited! even you guys in portugal and india and kansas and colorado and texas and...

i'm honored

statcounter.com has provided me with the wonderful counter in my sidebar. little did i know, though, that this tiny bundle of joy would give me SO much info about my readership!!! here are a few very interesting tidbits of information that i've found out through digging in my personalized section of statcounter.com.

*** disclaimer ***
although i've got all this ROCKIN' information now, NONE of it actually shows me WHO my viewers actually are. i guess if i was a REAL nerd i could dig and find out who each and one of you are and hunt you down to give you a big ol' sloppy kiss and hug, but i digress = )

although 95% of my readership comes from the us i'm happy to announce that 2% is coming from portugal, 2% is coming from india, and 1% is undisclosed! (whoever the FUCK is reading me in india and portugal - you guys get an extra sloppy kiss!!! i'm international!!! YAY!!!)

within the states, i have readership from minnesota, kansas, colorado, nevada, texas, georgia, maryland, and new york!

50% are accessing via windows xp, 49% on windows 2000, and 1% on windows 98.

how fun is THAT!

i must say a HUGE thanks to everyone who reads my blog... whether i force you to or if you found it and decided to make it one of your new quirky homes. tell your friends i'm a crazy fag in the frozen north that says whatever's on his mind. oh! and write me! use that freakin' comment thingy... i LOVE hearing from you!!!

i'm signin' off now, but check back often!

*hugs*

i smell coffee beans...

yeah... mainly because i just spilled an entire cup of coffee all over my keyboard, mousepad, mouse, ipod, sticky notes, cords, passwords hidden under my keyboard, monitor... you name it, it has coffee on it.

that reminds me... for you grace-ites... remember dr. rushing's bible verse on the 'forbidden bean'??? something like 'thou shalt not drink of the forbidden bean.' what a heretic, the 'bean' as he calls it is one of god's most sacred creations, it brings life to all those who partake of it.

speaking of which, where the hell did that old guy go? i went to grace's website and he wasn't listed anywhere... did he leave?

talk to me!

hair

aahhhhhh!!!!! what to do about my crazy hair!?!?!?!?! i love it getting longer, and i love the way it eventually looks... but the TIME i spend trying to get it to look remotely good SUCKS! grrr... i need a haircut, i've got wings bigger than a heavy-flow maxipad.