oh... paris...

what a week. what. a. week.

where to start? really, i have no idea. maybe this is a good start:

this was the view from my hotel room balcony... yeah, can someone say wake me fuckin' up, am i dreaming???

the rest of the week was amazing. beautiful. content. lovely. relaxing. eye-opening. and oh. so. wonderful.

a couple other pics (eiffel tower and notre dame)... oh, and as you can see (he he) i've buzzed my head. lol. parisians told me that i look like justin timberlake... not bad, i guess! = )

more to come, i promise... i'm still getting myself used to being home.

*sigh* paris...

bon voyage!

i'm leaving in 90 MINUTES FOR PARIS!!!!! my official research topic is "the impact that religion and spirituality have had on hrd (human resource development) in paris.

fuck yeah, i am SO excited i can hardly contain myself!

i leave today and will be back in one week (16 june).

look for stories when i get back!

*hug*

best quote from this weekend

[sitting next to a friend at a bbq]

friend - i am SO drunk...

me - do you need a ride home?

friend - nah, my car is right out there...

living the dream

tom's farmer's market catch this morning:

• onions
  
• garlic chives
  
• chicken
  
• asparagus
  
• soap

and now i'm making my first pot of home-roasted coffee!!! i roasted it yesterday after i got home from work. it's an ethiopian city-full city roast (i'll know better which i roasted to when i drink it). it's had its 12 hours to cure and vent and now *fingers crossed* i'm ready to drink!

lol - and "come sail away" by styx just came up on my itunes, it's a great sun-shiny 54 degree morning here in saint paul.

the backside blues

ask any of my friends or family and they'll tell you about my faulty "backside attraction" gene. you see, i frequently think a guy is hot simply by the way he looks from behind... ass, head, shoulders, jeans, hair, etc... the only problem is that 100% of the time when i say someone is cute from behind they are always (really... ALWAYS) quite the opposite when they turn around. it's gotten so predictable that whenever i say someone is cute from behind, whoever is with me usually states "yeah... they're ugly."

so yesterday i was running (yeah, i know! running! ME!) and i came up behind two guys walking, one of which i thought was for sure to be a candidate for "future husband" because he looked SO hot from behind. but then the better side of me kicked in and i realized that he'd be nothing short of a dawg once i passed him. instead of running up behind them and getting a glance i decided to take the fork in the road and head toward the bubblers (which were off... WTF?!?!). as i got to the [off] bubblers, i turned around just in time to see a stunningly gorgeous man staring back at me.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

FINALLY when i take a lesson from my friends and learn to accept my flaws end up missing a beauty of a man who not only looks great from behing but ALSO looks HOT from the front.... and was staring at me.

*sigh* i'm going to go cry now...

bibles, bitching, boobs, and beef (well, actually chicken)

bibles - my sister's college graduation is today. she has to walk down the aisle with a bible *GAG* a freaking BIBLE? is this first communion? jesus... anyway. sister-v is as grossed-out about this as i am... i believe she's going to walk down, instead, with the ba'hai book of prayer (take THAT thumpers).

bitching - minnesota legislature just turned down the opportunity to show themselves as accepting, loving, and caring humans who care about other humans. outright turning down health benefits to state employees is a terribly sad moment in our state's history. what's even worse is when the dumb-fuck governor boldly states that he'll veto any bill that grants same-sex benefits. really people... get over it, we're human just like you. we want to be happy just like you. we want to love just like you. we want to be physically healthy and alive just like you. you're no better than i am...

boobs - hmmm... nothing on the boob front. i think i put it in the post because it was another 'b' word.

beef (well, actually chicken) - my lovely vegetarian [non]wife and i got caught on camera at the saint paul farmer's market last weekend. apparently we had an appearance on the news and everything. so where was my vegetarian [non]wife and i caught looking at? meat. how appropriate... she doesn't eat it and i can't get enough.

happy may day weekend = )

equality!!!

WOO HOO!!!!!

for full list of accepted graphics see here.

oh, roman...

step aside jason lee, i have a new boyfriend...

roman abramovich: gorgeous russian, world's sexiest billionaire, and mine... aaaalllll mine.

it's actually not his money that i'm attracted to (though it's not a bad thing either), it's his 24/7 5 o'clock shadow and that really sexy spot of white hair on the left side of his chin. *shiver*

i think i'm going to take up soccer and russian.

hockey hair

hockey hair is cool. it's sexy, fun, wavy, soft, AWESOME to run your fingers through, and just plain ol' neato. that's why i'm going for it.

yeah... me. i don't know why (i never try to fake like i do).

what inspired me to paint my nails black with my sister a few weeks ago?

what made me crazy enough to pierce my dick three separate times in three separate places?

what causes me to love tattoos? (i'm waiting for a friend to figure out what she wants then we're going and i'll be getting my fourth).

why do i wear my shit-kickin' boots to work?

why do i laugh at "dead baby" jokes, cry at poop jokes, and plain ol' lose it at boob jokes?

why do i cease all beard trimming for months at a time?

why do i LUST AFTER pabst blue ribbon beer in 16oz cans?

what IS it that makes me go absolutely cuckoo-bananas at the mere thought of jason lee?

why do i actually believe that self improvement is masturbation?

why am i a full-time working adult AND a full-time grad school student at the same time?

why do i practically get a hard-on thinking about nasal irrigation?

why do i detest cats but love my pussy?

why do sexual innuendos still make me giggle like a 4th grader?

why do i have a picture of my mechanic on my desktop?

why, Why, WHY???

*shrug*

i guess it's because it's all so fun. lol - so freakin' fun!

just another day?

this is the first time in 28 years that i have not ridden the paschal rollercoaster.

the rollercoaster ride starts during advent when the car slowly creeps toward an apex that can only end in a glorious celebration of the birth of the christ child. after a few weeks/months in ecstasy the car plunges into the depths of despair on ash wednesday when christians around the world begin 40 days of constant reminding of their general unworthiness, inability to be “saved”, and despair over not being able to be in the light of the universe all on account of being human. one would think this despair would end on the most holy of sundays, easter but no, easter does nothing more than give christians one more excuse to fall at the feet of the “throne of grace” to grovel as, once again, unworthy human scum.

do you realize that when calculating the lenten season in a person’s live that a christian adult that is 50 years old has spent approximately five and a half YEARS in a state of lamentation over their unworthiness of being able to be in the presence of their own creator? they get over this damning feeling by using christ as a literal scapegoat for their unworthiness which, supposedly, gives them peace. i think the biggest despair is that these adults allow themselves to be duped into believing that they’re not worthy of anything that is given to them by the universe.

i guess there’s no better time than today, easter sunday, to state that i no longer fall for that bullshit. i believe that humans are beautiful and perfect as they are. i believe that humans are worthy of love by the universe and i believe that humans are powerful beyond their wildest dreams. evil exists in the world because humans refuse to acknowledge their power and their status of “loved.” the greatest sin of all is when a human willingly allows themselves to believe that they don’t deserve happiness.

i refuse to grovel at the feet of a sexist, jealous, violent, homophobic god… i stand up tall and proud and worship in the beauty of the holiness that surrounds me by a universal power that is truly loving and accepting and doesn’t wish harm on anyone… even if they don’t believe in it’s existence.

carrie

i remember a sex and the city episode where carrie noted that chronically-single people get the shaft because they never get the chance to enjoy the abundance of gifts that are showered upon people when they get married or have a kid. i have to say that, in a non-bitter way, i agree with her... it really is the shaft sometimes.

i never plan on marrying (not even noting the obvious that i CAN'T) nor do i plan on having kids... i guess that just makes people like me stronger... *shrug*

and oddly enough, unlike most situations, i really am not bitter. i think i'm not bitter because i don't even WANT to begin to have the type of life that a married couple or parents have (it's just not the life for me). so i guess that not getting the extra abundance showered on me by friends or co-workers is a gift in itself. a gift that is showing me that, indeed, i am living the life that i'm happy with.

but i wouldn't turn down a set of waterford martini glasses as a "you're cool" gift because, well, you know, you'd buy them for me if i was getting married or popping an 8 lb kid out of my vagina = )

oh man

do you even KNOW how hard it is to write a paper when you're sitting in the huge warehouse window of a boho coffee shop when it's twilight and pouring rain outside???

NO! ARGH! seriously, the uber-romanticized evening sun setting in the midst of a spring shower that is covering everything with a puddle of wholesome, nourishing, life-giving rain.

*sigh* i'm destined to forever romanticize life as it continues to infect my life with non-stop distraction.

t.b.

picture it, this afternoon, on a walk with a straight guy friend.

me: so i think i'm going to start working out again.
straight guy friend (sgf): why?
me: i kinda have drive to.
sgf: ok...
me: well, last night there was this really really cute guy online and was flirting with me, but you know, he's totally cut. like, not in the huge muscle-head way but in the, well, you know, good looking way. he's got pecs and a six-pack and is really in shape... and well, i'm not. and he can totally see that in my profile... he can't miss it. and he was still flirting with me.
sgf: maybe he just wants a tubby bitch.

tubby bitch my ass...

doppel-WHA?

on sunday i was waiting in line for brunch w/ some friends when one of them turned around and stated in a very shocked voice, "i just saw your doppelganger!" having NO idea what the hell he was talking about i responded with an equally shocked, "WHAT?!?" and then promptly checked my fly. nope, everything was packaged up nicely.

he stated it again, "no, over there! your doppelganger!" once again i said, "what?"... well, this went on for a few cycles before i finally said, "no seriously, i have no idea what a doppelganger is." it's at the point that the cycle ended and he told me how a doppelganger was a person's twin, their lookalike, their other-half. and supposedly MY doppelganger was standing right behind me.

so, as covertly at possible, i spun around and began looking for a ruggedly-handsome man in his late 20's w/ a beard and hair that looked like it should have been cut two months ago. whouldn't you know, he WAS standing right behind me, and even more shocking was that, indeed, i found him quite attractive.

that's when i had two revelations only one of which i shared w/ my friends:

1) i am TOTALLY attracted to guys that look similar to me, i.e., facial hair, not primped, kinda rugged-ish, looks like they're quite comfortable in their own skin. note, i'm not attracted to guys LIKE me but that just guys that LOOK like me.

2) if i ever got the chance, i'd totally make out w/ myself.

this last revelation was kinda fun to think about at first but the more i used "doppelganger" in conversation the more i thought about making out w/ myself which made me think more and more that i was a freak.

now before you reply with a resounding "DUH!" please think about it first for yourself... if you got the chance, would you makeout w/ yourself? i'm not as much curious how many people say "yes" but rather how many of those saying "yes" are straight *grin*

shutdown day

your internet porn can wait... trust me.

give it a try!

butt dandruff, nasal drip, and the girls

1. black shirts frequently give away the wearer's dandruff problem. in the same way, black toilet seats give away the previous pooper's problem. yeah, butt dandruff. what the hell!?!?! i walk into a stall at work and the seat has white flakes on it... seriously dudes, use head & shoulders or t-gel or something, i'm sick of having to wipe your dead ass-skin off the seat before i sit my nice, moisturized, NON-FLAKY ass down to poop.
   
   
2. i did it. i finally did it. this stuff is the coolest, craziest, most FUN thing to do. odd? maybe... but what do you expect from me?
   
   
3. i finished the final season of golden girls on sunday afternoon amid a blizzard. the bittersweet experience ended an almost four-year homage to the lovely ladies that bring joy to my life like no other ladies do. rather than watch the final episode as i watch many golden girls episodes: late at night, drunk, and with a bowl of sour-gummies, i waited to watch it when i was completely sober, awake, and able to use up a box of tissues that i conveniently placed next to the couch. i used them... not only was the episode sad but i finished the entire series. *sigh* now i just have to wait for the release of the golden palace.
   

"simple pleasures" or "just really easy to keep happy"???

simple moment of pleasure #524:

walking thru an empty intersection at night and hearing the *click* when the traffic lights switch.

not only are you privy to the amazing experience of being in a location known for being busy while it's so quiet that you can hear an almost-silent *click* but when you hear the *click* the whole world changes around you. what was dark and eerie w/ red overtones turns bright and cheerfully green. you're greeted by a bright white walk sign and it's like the world has, for a short moment, opened it's slowly dozing-off eyes for you.

you're special... you got to hear the *click*! how many people can say they experienced the *click*... or can even say that they were in the moment SO much that they were almost anticipating it...

life is beautiful.


*** addendum after posting ***
dude, i just realized that i ended two posts in a row with "life is beautiful." - huh, cool...
******************************

rite of passage

tonight when i showed up at my coffee shop and one of the girls asked me what i wanted to drink, the cute guy behind the counter (notice how pretty much every guy is cute to me?) looked at me, grinned, and said "i got it... mug of the lite roast." *grin back*

it's one of the best feelings when you go to your coffee shop and the people know you by name and/or by drink. now both of my coffee shops (caribou coffee in the morning and black dog at night) know me by drink and name.

life is beautiful.

3m

i get to have drinks w/ my favorite-ist-ist girlfriend monday night.

i've been waiting for this for a week and it's already the best, coolest, night i'm going to have this week.

martinis and mammaries monday. that about sums it up.

who needs valentines day?

2 bribones tras la esmeralda perdida

yeah yeah yeah... i know. but i have a good excuse this time.

picture it, december 2006. a lovely, homosexually-inclined, bitter corporate american sits in his cage reading his email... an email that will end blogging as he knows it: "effective next week we will be installing a new filter on the system and all the following types of sites will be blocked." blogger.com is one of them.

i can't see nor write my blog from work any more... and for those of you know don't realize it, most of my blogging happens when i'm sitting in my cage waiting for the day to end. what is a homosexually-inclined person like myself supposed to do???

when i go home i usually do homework, watch simpsons, eat, then do more homework (i do other things too but my sister reads this blog and i'm sure she doesn't want to hear about her brother crankin' off... oh shit... sorry sis *grin*).

long story short, i'm blogging now.

OMG! i watched for the first time tonight romancing the stone. i cried... michael douglas has NEVER made me feel "that way" before... i love the 80's.

ok, back to studying. i can't promise much, but i surely desire to blog more frequently... lets see how good i can be with that.

*hugs*

to amos, with love

watching a 13 year old while his mother is at a school meeting = FREE

spending time with your 13 year old "pseudo-son" = FUN

helping a 13 year old with algebra when he could care less = OHMYFUCKINGODWHERE'STHENEARESTPENCILFORMETOPOKEINMYEYE

for those parents who have teenagers, i truly respect and love you. i will give you the tightest hug whenever i see you next.

for those parents who have children younger than teenagers, i'm storing up hugs for you starting today... payable beginning on the 13th birthday of your spawn.

for those parents who have children past their teens, you're probably partying pretty hard right now... please let me know where you are so i can come over and raise a gin martini to your success.

i love kids, and especially "my" 13 year old for the fun i have with him but also for showing me what it's like to be a parent and for helping me understand a little bit better how you can love someone so much and still want to thump them on the forehead and say "WHY DON'T YOU CARE??? CARE!!!"

i love you amos... here's your first "teen years" hug: *hug*